The fact that we attempt to hold to the idea that God is loving by dismissing the idea of eternal wrath may speak of our own mistrust in a God who is good, and too much trust in our own feelings or philosophies, or righteousness (i.e. we think we know more than God). Or perhaps it is our misunderstanding of what love really is. Is it true that to be love one has to rid himself of wrath? Sure, when you think of it for you and I that makes sense. It is humankind's anger that does not work in full righteousness. (James 1:20) Isn't God different. God can be loving, joyful, caring, committed, angry, jealous, judgmental and wrathful holding it all in right/proper perspective: Right? If not, then why do we believe in Him. Could it be that we just don't understand God's eternal wrath, not that there is not a need for God's eternal wrath. In the same way; we don't fully understand God's love, not (by any means) that there is not a need for God's love.
People who desire to dismiss God's eternal wrath clearly should know that the only reason we hate the thought of people spending eternity away from God is because God hates this thought. (cf Paul in Romans 10:1; Peter in 2 Peter 3:9)
Do we do anyone a favor by giving them assurance that there is opportunity to come to God after the final judgment if there is no opportunity?
If we question God's eternal wrath then mustn't we question whether their is eternal life/love? Many of the same writers and speakers who speak of God's love, are the same one's who speak of God's wrath. They seemed pretty clear that God is love, but that God has and will surely exercise eternal wrath. Most of us who definitively say God loves us learned of this love from the words of Jesus, Peter, Paul, and John. We strongly affirm and declare the goodness and the love of God. We point to scripture, and even other contemporary appearances (people who've loved us, events) of God's love. Yet it is Jesus, Paul, Peter and John who also tell us of God's wrath. We despise or belittle those who point to scripture and cite perceived contemporary examples that God may be demonstrating anger sometimes. {though I admit, I also tend not to agree with people who assume to know that because certain events happened it was because God was judging--eg. Japan, Katrina, etc--We simply can't know that it was God's judgment and we must refrain from attaching God to tragedy because we are angry with moral, economic, or social standings. It is insensitive and unloving, in my opinion}. I digress. Many people have come to Christ because they feared the eternal flame. But they soon learned of God's love and follow Him because of it. Many others have received Christ because of His love. But they also learned to respect the wrath.
The fact that God is "unbelievably exclusive" does not relegate Him to being falsely loving, but hopefully would enact a reverence for God and the urgency of time in light of a coming wrath. And the fact that He is "fantastically inclusive" should not produce in us a false hope for eternity, as if opportunity will cycle around again somewhere in eternity.
Some have asked if we don't speak of eternal judgment what will that do for the motivation for mission. As in, "If we don't speak of hell Christians won't be motivated to share God's message" or "If we don't speak of eternal damnation, unbelievers will be less motivated to accept Christ." Christians must understand that we do God no favors by preaching eternal judgment as an impetus for Christian mission. People can be just as, if not moreso; motivated to come to God because of His kindness, as His wrath. However, both God's eternal kindness and wrath in eternity, are sure. It is the kindness/goodness of God that leads to repentance. (Rom. 2:4) We speak of eternal judgment because it is sure to come. (2 Thessalonians 1:5-12 note verse nine) We speak of eternal damnation/separation because God wants no one to experience it. (2 Peter 3:9) God does not need us to frighten people into His kingdom. However, God would take those who are frightened about eternal life and give them His assurance and hope that as they trust him, there is no need to fear the eternal judgment. (John 3:16-18)
Can we answer the questions about what will happen to people who have died before or after Christ? I don't think so; not fully. Can we shrink back, when we say to Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Bahai, nominal Christians, etc that Jesus is NOT the way, the truth, and the life because it offends them. Still, no. We believe the words of Jesus. It may offend them, but they are His words and it is our belief. It may be that they do not agree with us and do not respect our belief because it seems/is exclusive. But at least (as we ought to for them-and sadly have failed in doing so) they should respect our right to this faith/belief system without judging us, as many assume we judge them. If we shrink back to only tell people of God's love then perhaps we are not as successful at engaging culture as others might consider us to be. Perhaps they come because we preach a message of what they feel Christ should be. Hence, we preach a false Christ and false gospel. Likewise, if we preach a Christ that is full of anger and wrath, only; then we feed into both, the self-righteous morality that many of us tend to fall into and the misguided idea that God wants to strike down as many people as He can just to show He's boss, and still; we preach a false Christ and Gospel. Instead, let us all continue in loving dialogue and action with those who are outside as often as we have opportunity to; and let us preach the Christ who loves the world that He someday must judge in righteousness to bring glory to God.
Some say that we see hell on earth now. It is necessary to note that though hellish activity may be on earth, it pales in comparison to the pictures of weeping and gnashing of teeth for whatever agonies that may be behind the veil of this present life. That if we are experiencing hell on earth now, as some say; then it stands to reason that we are experiencing heaven on earth now, too. Take serious note: There is a worse day coming. But there is also a better day coming, too. There is fire and brimstone (though we may not know the literal make-up of this fire) But, there is also a city with streets of gold, and a tree with leaves to heal the nations. This present earth will NEVER see the fullness of heaven, nor the full tragedies of hell. Far be it from us that we think our activity can bring heaven on earth, or likewise hell. However, our activity can demonstrate to whom we are sons: Sons of God or sons of Hell. God, himself will destroy all of this and foster the new creation (heavens/earth) where He will come and bring heaven to earth (not us) by his activity (not ours).
The fear in having an ultimate judge who displays eternal wrath ultimately seems to be that of power, justice, fairness and of course, love. Of power, in that we want to know why the one who is judging, gets to judge. "Who is he to judge me"? and "Why does he judge me this way?" Of Justice because people have been wronged; rules have been broken; systems, unjust. And of Fairness because "At least I didn't live like her/him", "How can you judge me when I didn't know", or "Why does he get this when I worked so much harder", etc. Of love because "if He loves me how can he eternally, judge me?" I certainly don't have all the answers. These are just my thoughts.
But what Christians can say about our belief in God through Jesus is that when judgment takes place is that there will be no one who is eternally damned who does not deserve eternal damnation. Likewise, there will be no one who is eternally accepted who can say they deserve it. No child will be unjustly lost, no criminal (murderers, rapists, kidnappers, pedophiles, and all who we consider to be worse sinners than us) will be unjustly exonerated, no sin will go unpunished, no deed will be unexposed. Everything will be reconciled to its rightful place. There will be a right judgment by the right judge; for all the right reasons, with all the right desires, interest, and intentions, by THE ABSOLUTE most qualified, thorough judge to offer love, mercy, comfort, grace, justice, punishment, sentencing, and wrath who ever was. This is the Holy One in whom Christians are said to trust: Jesus the Christ. (Revelation 15:3; 19:2)
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